Binge Log

Last night I binged. I know, I’m horrible, disgusting, and weak. But I’ve decided that every time I binge I am going to write the food here to hold myself accountable.

1 mango Popsicle

3 coconut Popsicles

1 microwavable pot pie

200 calories of soup

 

This is one of my less destructive binges, but I /really/ needed to purge afterwards and somehow managed not to. Thank god, because I can already tell that that would have been an awful idea.

I feel so bloated and disgusting, it’s like someone has just shoved a rock into my stomach. I hate being full so much, I’d rather die. Honestly. I got drunk a few days back and drank so much I puked my guts out because I had to get rid of it some way, right? It was really gross because after I threw up because of the alcohol I kept making myself purge to get rid of all of it. I was REALLY drunk. Not fun. I also had to purge in a hotel bathroom a few days ago because a “friend” of mine (read: competitive anorexic/bulimic bitch of a friend) named Carly practically forced me to eat so I threw up that too. I hate purging and I hate eating so I eat as little as I possibly can but even doing that sometimes leads to a full scale binge later in the day. My best bet for losing weight is to just stop eating altogether.

Stay Strong, everyone 🙂

~Robin ❤

Fresh Goals!

Goal Weights

1. 100
2. 95
3. 90
4. 85
5. 80

 

Rules

1. Eat as little as possible.
2. If you must eat, you may only have one meal a day.
3. Celery sticks are not fear foods, but they are also not binge foods.
4. If a safe food triggers a binge, it is no longer a safe food.
5. If a safe food has more than 500 calories it is not a safe food.
6. Consume no dairy fat.
7. Consume no carbs.
8. The number of calories in the only thing that matters. Burning calories off does not detract from how much you’ve eaten during the day.
9. Drink lots of water to stay hydrated.
10. When attack, defend by lying.

 

Hey, so this is an updated version of my rules and goals. Don’t know if I’ve already posted goals on here before, but if I have this is an updated version. 🙂

I’ll cross off each goal weight as I reach it and add new ones if I decide to 🙂

Stay strong sweethearts.

~Robin ❤

Update! Because I’ve Been Gone For, like Forever.

Hey, so sorry for not writing anything on here for so long. But I’m back! My therapist was subscribed to my blog so therapy was hella awkward because there would be thing on here that I wasn’t telling her. Soooo

Anyways, I’ve gotten back down to 111.8 pounds, down from 118! Huge improvement 🙂 I also might have grown so the weight loss is seeming to show more. Before, I didn’t have collar bones and even the slight bump of chest bones until I was down at 108, but now I have both of those things already, so I’m going to assume I’ve gotten taller. I hadn’t really noticed until my mom commented on it, but I’ve definitely grown. I had only some lettuce yesterday and nothing the day before so I’m going to continue to restrict because I am SO CLOSE to my first goal weight, I can almost taste it 🙂

Oh, yeah, I’ve revised my goals so I’ll probably post that too. 🙂

Have a wonderful day, stay strong 🙂

~Robin ❤